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Balance Your Mind Not Your Life

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I’m one of those fortunate people that really likes what they do. I may not always like the place I do it, but I like what I do and I’m very thankful for the ability to do it everyday.

The challenge for me personally is that I work in a highly competitive environment, with a number of, as a co-worker puts it, ‘intellectual alpha males.’ Added to that is that I am responsible for a global IT operation, and my work hours aren’t 9 to 5 most days, I’m on the phone or in meetings with people in 3 different countries at all hours of the day.

So When I read this article in Psychology today (after being referred to it by Lifehacker), it struck a chord in me. I always struggle with the work/life balance idea.

I often feel as though a simply don’t have any medicine for friends and family at the end of the day. So these suggestions are really valued gems that work for me.

1. Exercise – when I don’t get out and exercise I cam definitely tell a difference in my mood. I’m more lethargic, and while it might boost my energy per se, it does give me extra capacity to handle the stress.

2. Maintain social connections – I’m not a big phone talker, but I do try to find ways to interact with friends outside of work even for brief periods during the course of the day. I can get terribly focused on what I’m doing and this helps me remember that I have people who I care about and who care about me outside of work.

3. Stop to smell the roses – I need to do a better job of this, definitely. Many years ago, shortly after my father passed away, I would during the course of my week spend time working from the cemetery where my dad and grandparents are buried. This isn’t as morbid as it sounds, my dad became a real inspiration for me later in life and immediately prior to his death, and spending time ‘with’ him often gave me solace and guidance as I ‘heard his advice’ to me whispered in my ear.

Now, doing activities that get me outside with the people I love, like the Komen 3 day, or the Barnabas weekend retreat with my wife earlier this month help me with keeping my karma level and create a sense of peace inside.

So balance may not be about quitting your job, especially if you love what you do, but is about stopping to take a few minutes to take care of yourself, mind, body and spirit so you can be the best you can. Stephen Covey calls it sharpening the saw. And I couldn’t agree more.

Now, excuse me it’s time for my morning run.

Unfriending and Keeping Social Media Karma Level

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I read this post on on Lifehacker this morning and had a really odd feeling about it. Though I understand the article and at some level acknowledge the point of pruning your ‘friendship tree’ I have a difficult time with it in principle.

Maybe it’s just me and I have have a need to feel as though I have more friends than I do, but I really like following the goings on of the posts from my social feeds even if I don’t have regular face to face contact with everyone.

I’ve been reading Throwing Sheep in the Boardroom by Matthew Fraser and Sumitra Dutta, a study on the use of social media in the enterprise. One of the comments the authors make is the predisposition of the, as they call them Gen V, is the habit of collecting friends on social sites like they were bubble gum trading cards.

Dunbar’s number theorizes the number of social connections a person can maintain at somewhere between 100 and 230 people. From my personal experience I find that to be true. However is see people in my social networks with connections of upward of 400 to 500 people.

Throwing sheep points out, and I’m inclined to believe, that the the Gen V’s are gathering for quantity and not quality. Do you really know all of those people directly or are they friends of friends?

My original point to this post is that I would encourage you to consider this, if you really take the time and are careful about adding people to your social networks, you dramatically minimize the amount of pruning that’s necessary.

I generally keep my business contacts and personal contacts in separate networks (LinkedIn and Facebook respectively).

Adding Twitter in to the mix gives me the chance to add friends and and follow others more dynamically.

In the end, I would say, make sure you are careful, trust and add friends, relationships make the human experience wonderful. But make wonderful because you HAVE the relationships, not because you collect them.